The irony
about suicide is, that the extreme emotions leading to its contemplation
in the first place, are likely to be the same strength of will required
to rationalise everything and re-establish positive values. But once trapped
within the vortex of uncompromising self-loathing, the light of reason
is gradually extinguished as the feelings of emptiness envelop the victim.
And a person committed to taking their own life is a victim of their own
private prison and ultimately hell.
Tortures of the mind, either privately or publicly, are likely to be the
two main reasons for reaching such an act of finality. Publicly, the pressures
are brought to bear by an individual or groups of people who, for some
perverse reason, seek to destroy this person who represents their hatred
or jealousy. In other cases, destruction is not the prime motive but control
is desired. The victim's life is put under constant pressure by bullying,
abuse and humiliation until the only release seems to be permanent peace.
Privately, similar pressures are created in the mind of the suicide victim
until emotions swell to such a level, that the same form of release is
sought. These private pressures are the result of misguided perceptions
of how detrimental the victim appears to the everyday world. A singling
out of themselves from the crowd as a consequence of self belief in the
inadequacies of their character and or physical appearance.
Committed suicide victims do not always display their mental pain and
do not necessarily plan their exit. An apparently unconnected event may
result in a train of thought that ultimately pushes aside rational viewpoints.
The prospect of peace and/or a crescendo of self-loathing races at such
a level that suicide becomes logical and fearless. Nevertheless, suicide
may be considered but then put on hold until a time when the person may
be happy one minute and gone the next.
A human being is capable of an enormous range of thought while presenting
a calm and controlled exterior. It is therefore of no surprise that within
raucous company, the victim can be suffering without any apparent signs
of doing so. Even when the pressures do spill over and present personality
shifts, the control is maintained; although at this level emotional disturbances
are clearly apparent. Yet the strength and likely direction of these emotions
is frequently misunderstood by friends and family.
Although people may have an awareness of charged emotions from their own
experiences as a child and later as an adult, they have little concept
of emotions they have not fully experienced. They can make calculated
guesses and they can create metaphors to simulate situations as closely
as possible. From films, books and even fun-fair rides, they can experience
emotions in an almost raw state; but they cannot reach the extremes felt
by the suicide victim.
As we progress through life, we carry the memory of events both pleasant
and unpleasant. At these times we have either dealt directly (and thus
to a satisfactory level) with the pressures, or we have avoided the confrontation
by some means. How we have handled the situations will influence our actions
in later times. The same situation may present itself but not always in
the same recognisable form. We may therefore react without a full realisation
of the facts.
The tragedy and apparent wasted life of suicide victims, is how minimal
the help needed from others is, to relieve the build-up of pressures -
whether public or private. It is isn't sympathy that is required, but
an attempt to understand and relate somehow, the swirl of emotions that
surround and invade the victim. We are all subject to depression at some
point in our lives. It may simply be the failure of passing an examination,
having a flat tyre on the car when out on the open road. At a deeper level
it may be an emotion influenced by someone, but generally we find ways
of overcoming it. The suicide victim has lost the reference points and
thus the ability to make the right links. Theirs is a rope that pulls
them inexorably into the pit whose steep sides require enormous effort
to climb out again. Not everyone succeeds.
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